Sherry's Journal - December 10, 2010

After my day yesterday I spent the evening and most of the day secretly pouting.  I pout.  I am one of those women that when I'm upset I pout.  I'll show you - I'll ignore your emails and telephone calls and hope you magically figure out what is wrong because it is much too hard to tell you how I feel.    Pitiful, I realize this but nonetheless, I have mastered my pout techniques.  I think I will call it Operation Pout Time for now on.  I am happy to say that Household Six (aka military wife in charge of the house) has successfully completed Operation Pout Time.  At least for today.

I was having a great conversation with a co-worker today about the difference between men and women.  And, it reminded me of the Military Strong Bonds retreat weekend I had convinced my husband to attend with me before he left on deployment.  We watched a great DVD that highlighted (with a lot of comedy) the difference between us and how a man can simply sit and think about absolutely nothing.  Amazing, absolutely nothing.  How is that even possible?

When I came home this evening, I was exhausted.  I think the stress of yesterday and not feeling 100% just hit me like a ton of bricks.  We were sitting at the dinner table (eating a gourmet meal of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and bananas) when I fell asleep...yep, at the dinner table.   Logan and Tiffany thought it would be funny to pound on the table and wake me up, not one of my most attractive moments as I came flying out of my seat.  That's when my daughter said, "Mom, it's not very nice to come home and fall asleep at the table."  Wow, did I feel like a terrible mom at that moment.  So, I convinced myself that a ten minute power nap in the tanning bed (my Vitamin D & K prescription for all of the rain) would do the trick.

Now, back to the difference between men and women.  As I lay in the tanning bed (ladies we know that cellulite looks much better tan or in the dark) this is a run down of the thoughts that went through my head during my so-called power nap:  I need to finish Christmas cards, crap the dog goes to the vet at 8, man that means I can't sleep in, oh I need to get a birthday present for Bob, I better start wrapping Christmas presents, I wonder if there are any new movies out that the boys would like to see, I better log-in to Skype when I get back to see if Aaron can talk, I can't believe I didn't make my bed today, I need to change the sheets, shoot it's too late to call my mom, this tanning bed is burning my rear end, I wonder if Taylor got that smell out of his car, I hope the eye drops are working on his eyes, wow my baby boy went to the doctor and the pharmacy all by himself, shoot I am supposed to take Tiffany to get her permit tomorrow, what time does that Arbonne training start, I better register, the boys sure did a good job cleaning up the leaves, I have to finish Christmas shopping, Tiffany better figure out what she really wants for Christmas, oh is Julie having her holiday party next weekend, I need to look at all of the Arbonne training online, that's right I think Lindsey leaves for New York, did the boys take AJ out to go potty, did Logan feed him, I can't believe I killed the fish last night - what was I thinking - Logan is going to hate me, macaroni and cheese with bananas get a grip Sherry that's not a meal, our Christmas lights look so pretty but I wonder how much the electric bill will be......  and the list went on and on.

I don't think I will ever understand why men can simply shut their brains off - literally.  And, when I try to calm myself for 10 minutes in the tanning bed it doesn't seem possible.  However, I came home wide awake and no longer a failure as a mother.

The best part of the day - talking to my husband on Skype.  Here's a little secret about my husband - he hates amusement park rides.  We refer to the "teacup" ride as the teacup of death ride.  He was telling me about his adventure in the helicopter today and nothing is more adorable than listening to my husband (tough and tattooed) explaining the harrowing experience.  If you haven't been on a helicopter before, it is not like flying in a plane and more like being on a small boat in the ocean.   Listening to my husband reminded me that regardless of how tough we are on the outside we all have little things on the inside that we are afraid of.  And, there is nothing wrong with that.  We are human....it's okay to be afraid.

3-116 Pre-Mobilization Luau - Aaron (right)

This deployment scares me...what if something happens, what if we grow apart while he's away, what if...what if...what if.  It's okay to be scared but, we can't let that fear control our actions.  We have a choice each and every day - to live life one moment at a time and to make the most of those moments.  So I choose - I choose loving my husband with every ounce of my being.  I choose to do everything in my power to stay connected with him (even when I pout).  I choose to not allow us to grow apart during this deployment.   I choose to do make sure my children know how much their dad loves them every day.  What choice are you going to make?

And, if you need something to put a smile on your face, you have to watch this little video shot a couple of days ago by my husband.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3gHposluPc


Much love,
Household Six